I found this post very difficult to write and to what level of detail to go to. It was a difficult time for me and so I have tried to be as transparent as possible. I want it to help you and guide you if you are feeling like this. Please let me know in the comments what your thoughts are.
State of mind
Having been trying and struggling for what felt like years I was getting nowhere fast. The desire to earn a little extra was becoming more like greed and felt uncomfortable. When you hear so and so are going on holiday, she got a new car, he is loaded, why don’t we have this and that. Bills get higher and you worry that you will struggle to pay it. Friends and family say, “let’s all go away on a great holiday together” and you would love to but you know you can’t. When people ask you for financial help and you can’t because you are in a worse state than them. When your parents need something and you wish you could buy it for them. When your wife deserves so much more than you can provide. You want to do things for your children but just can’t right now. When you feel like you’re useless and a terrible provider for your family. We have everything, family, faith, a house, cars, food, education, good jobs so, WHY IS IT STILL SO HARD!
Frustration, anxiety and desperation creep in. You start doubting yourself and your ability. You feel like you are not good enough and I am sorry to say that many people feel like this.
The status Quo plus External factors
I was working as a Process Improvement Manager, the company had issues and made huge redundancies. My team was new and it was disbanded and I was made redundant. Having been there less than 2 years meant no financial payout. I couldn’t find a job, it was winter and recruiting tends to slow down. I persisted with finding a job and I did get a few interviews and actually secured 2 jobs and they were good ones too. I could pick the one I wanted. Something was up as I hadn’t heard from either of them, on chasing up they both said the same thing. “You have the job and we would love you to join BUT we are not able to take you on as we have heard about a possible lock down and we can’t pay you sitting at home. Then something called COVID-19 happened!
We were in the first COVID lockdown in the UK and it was severe. Total lockdown and I didn’t have a job and no income. My wife was sole provider plus what little savings we had. The guilt I felt was horrendous. I had 3 children, my wife who was working and I was in a hole, a dark place. I was grumpy, angry and desperate. Also, an old knee injury had reappeared after I twisted it slightly and I was walking on a crutch.
Desperate Times
I continued looking for work but no one was recruiting. This is where my faith and family were the scaffolding that supported me. Praying and reading the Quran gave me comfort and the perspective that I needed. Due to the lock down, online shopping went through the roof as did Uber eats and food delivery. I looked to join as an Uber driver or for delivery. I heard that parcel delivery drivers were required as Amazon was selling products so well. I also thought I should have started the FBA thing previously, I may have made it by now! Who knows?
I applied and got a job as a parcel delivery guy using my own car. It was my first day, I drove over to the depot to fill up my car with parcels but was summoned to the office. The supervisor said, “What’s wrong with your leg?”, she said I can’t work like that as I will be going door to door. I was sent home. Nothing is going right!
A few weeks went by, savings went down, I went back and started delivering parcels. My knee was a little better so I was able to work. I worked for 8 hours per day and got 26p per parcel, that’s £0.26. After tax this was working for nothing, using my fuel and putting mileage on my car. I gave up after a month or so.
Down a dark hole
At this time Bitcoin and Forex trading was all over the socials. I wasn’t interested in Bitcoin but Forex looked interesting. Agents and companies would trade on your behalf and you would get daily profits on the difference in exchange rates. Looking back I know I wouldn’t do this now but my mindset, situation, faith and priorities were clearly wrongly aligned. I put money first and so everything else was second.
I saw an ad on Facebook about trading in Forex. After a while I was pinged on Facebook Messenger by an agent who said I looked at the ad. This is embarrassing and hard to talk about. Over a period of 4 weeks I invested £250 and was given false logins to a false dashboard with false data. Profits were locked until I paid more money for a permit. So I paid more. This went on for a while and I lost quite a lot of money. There were no profits as there was nothing, just scammers.
Facing up to what had happened and telling my wife, was the hardest thing I have had to do. It was a very hard time but with faith and family I got through it. The police, the financial ombudsman and fraud teams at the bank didn’t do anything to help as the way the scammers worked made it look like I gave them the money for trading. Tough lesson learned. I could write a book on this incident but I have dealt with it with family support and it’s ok. This was completely my fault, because of my mindset I allowed this to happen, I can’t blame anything or anyone else. IT WAS ME!
The End
I prayed that a better job would come. I stepped up the job search and got a job in my professional field but with a massive pay cut. It was enough for paying the mortgage so I took it. As you can imagine this all put pressure on me, my wife and dynamics at home. Our faith and family as always has gotten us through everything.
As for a side hustle, business or extra income. I was done, that’s it finished, end of! I thought you need money to make money and then when you have it someone takes it from you and on top of that I don’t know what to do and who do I trust to show me what I need to do. This is too hard! With this I was done, I will never earn extra money with an online business and with that I GAVE UP!
Thank you for reading and I hope it helped you in some way. Do you behave like this? Is this what you are thinking and doing? Let me know your thoughts.
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Until next time, take care.
Atif
#Atif’s Academy
Atif, thank you for being so raw and sharing this story. I feel for you and your family and the struggle that COVID-19 brought upon you. I hope you are in a better place now, and I wish 2024 to be a year full of success!
Alison, It was the toughest year of my life in many many way. We are tested with challenges in our lives, how do we deal with it? how do we learn and improve? I pray for an amazing 2024 and beyond. How are you getting on? what challenges do/are you facing? Thanks. Atif
Hello.
Thank you for being so honest. This must have been really hard to write and share- Well done.
I could relate to some of the things you shared. We all go through a hard time but you feel so alone at the time.
Well done, remember your WHY and you’ll go far.
Sarah, It was hard to right as it affects my wife and children too. Yes, it’s the WHY that I am focussed on and that’s the aim for 2024 and beyond. Thanks. What challenges are you facing? Thanks. Atif
Hi Atif
I can only praise your openness and honesty. It shows how strong you have become to share such challenges, Bravo.
I hope it is all behind you now and your are looking forward to the good times
Tim, thanks. There are times when you feel like you are going to sink. It’s my faith in God, my family and the internal resilience you develop that keep you going. Many thanks. What challenges are you facing? Atif
Atif,
You are not alone in your feelings. I was confined to bed for seven years. During that time I tried several things to try to make an income while I was in bed. At this time my faith and family is what got me through.
However, I know you are on a good track heading in the right direction. We can take our past experience and us them to empower us to move forward. I know it can be tough but I believer in you and know you can do this.
CJ
CJ, Thanks for your encouragement, it means a lot. You had your illness to deal with and its faith and family that got you through too. Thanks for your advise as always. I pray your health is the best and remember, God protects us all. Thanks. Atif
Atif, once again you did a great post! And what a post this time! I could feel the rain in your words. You went through already such a journey. When you say you want more for your children but you can’t do better because money holds you, makes me think of my own feelings. Yes I feel the same. Money holds me back from the life standard I wish for me and my family. This is part of my WHY. So let’s wish us a successful 2024 and Happy New Year!
Martin
Martin, yes it was and still is a journey. Isn’t that something we are all going through with our own challenges? I am doing this for my wife and children.I wish you the best this year and let’s do this!! Atif
That was a tough read… and I can sympathize, I lost work during COVID-19 and spent two years living on savings, we were down to out last 3k in the world before I got work again. Had we not left the UK for Portugal at the end of 2020 we would have been heavily in debt, but swapping a £1,500 a month rent in London, for a 300€ a month rent in the Alentejo made all the difference!
For me the big plus of Covid was the willingness for companies to accept remote working.
I hope 2024 brings you all the things you hope for
Tony, sounds you had a similar ordeal too. It’s great you had the guts and courage to make the move to Portugal and make that kind of saving. Most people wouldn’t. I commend you for the change you made. I hope you are enjoying Alentejo! All the best, talk soon. Atif
Hi Atif,
You were not alone! There are so many of us out there who have lost so much chasing the money. I honestly feel we are now in the right place.
Thanks for your honesty. I look forward to seeing more posts from you and seeing your new adventure grow.
Sandy
Sandy, Thanks, I think I have to change my thinking. Instead of chasing money I am going to build a business and change my mindset, then the money will chase me. How are you? what challenges are you facing? Thanks. Atif
Atif, I can certainly relate to this post. I was there also with scammers and losing money. I had a job but not much money coming in. I love your honesty and I feel a lot of people can relate to your story. May this be the year for your success!
Sherri, thanks I am glad you can relate. When writing my life down in my blog I think no one will care or be interested. It’s great that people respond and feel like it’s a help to them. Many thanks for your kind words. Thanks. Atif
Hi Atif, I really feel for you mate. How you managed to carry on is commendable. With the support of your faith and your family you have come through. I take my hat off to you. I’m certain that you will find the means to the financial ends that you clearly deserve in this program. I look forward to following your progress. May 2024 bring you and yours the best!
Andy, Thanks. You have to carry on, what alternative do I have. Stay as I am or fight for a better life. I am grateful as life is good and I have everything that’s important but I want things easier for my wife and children and all the family. How are you getting on? Atif
This is such a great post Atif, thank you for sharing. As hard as it must have been to write this and make it public, I think it will help so many who’ve made similar decisions and gone through the same tough challenges. Your faith and family got your through this, and I’m certain it will continue to support you on your journey. May 2024 be a year filled with success and abundance!
Sophie, thanks. Thanks for your good wishes. I am committed and passionate about improving my life. How are you getting on? Atif
Thank you for sharing your challenges with us, Atif.
I believe you are not alone when thinking about giving up. I’ve felt the same way in the past as well.
But the fact you’re writing this shows that you’re still fighting and working towards your goal. That takes a lot of courage. Well done! I wish you lots of success in 2024.
Alan, thanks for your kind words. It is surprising so many people go through the same as us but we are unaware. I wish you great success and look forward to seeing your journey too. Thanks. Atif
Isn’t it so sad that people take advantage of other people . I think your post probably hits home for quite a few people that have read it. I too believe faith and family will carry you life and all it’s challenges. Thank you for the post.
Jon, Thanks. It is very sad that our fellow humans take advantage and treat people this way. It’s ok, as it made me stronger and increased my faith. How are you getting on? Atif
Hi Atif,
I can appreciate your openness and thank you for being so honest in your blog.
Having to go through lifes challenges can be daunting but when you have the support of your family, it can be a life changer.
Wishing you all the best in 2024!
Marc, many thanks. Yes family and faith is what keeps us going. They give you the support and also the perspective that we need. Tough love! I wish you all the best. Thanks. Atif
You have been through a lot.
I have to admit all C situation was quite profitable for me as I was able to buy two houses offering cash and had no competition as all clients with mortgages couldn’t buy. I flipped them 9 months later for a good profit.
But I am glad you realised that the problem was mindset.
Now with technology, it is easy to buy with a click of a button- food, clothes, online courses or investments. That makes us professional in making money online- for others. Now is the time to flip the coin, press different buttons on the same keyboard and ask people to pay us for our products or expertise.
Now you are in good hands with Dean and family.
Wish you all the best in New Year 2024!
Tom, that’s great you got the house business going. I still want to do that in the future when I can. Yes mindset is everything I am learning. It’s time to take control and change what I can and not blame, that’s the easy way out. Thanks my friend, how are you getting on? Atif
What a very difficult go you have had! Thank you for sharing. It’s not easy to admit your mistakes especially when they hit the pocket book, I too made awful, stupid choices that left their scars on me so I do understand your struggle. Today was a good day and tomorrow is looking bright. Sometimes that’s all we can do. I hope you are feeling the weight of this burden lifting. You’re in a good place now.
Sharel, thanks. Admitting my mistakes is what made me continue. If it didn’t I would be blaming others and then you just stop progression. It’s ok as long as you learn and make changes and move on. I hope you didn’t struggle too much. Here’s to a bright future. Thanks, Atif
You should be very proud of yourself Atif, I can only imagine how hard it was to write that post. I myself fell into a dark place when I returned to work after having my daughter in Covid. Covid was hard, having a baby was hard, being a way from my family was hard. On top of that, I felt like I was letting my family down because my wages were not great. I went on the hunt for the extra money and I got the good old Shiny Object syndrome and brought anything and everything I saw online in hope to make money. None of it worked. I even wasted some of my inheritance in the process. now I realise I was desperate and not thinking rationally. I wasn’t in any state of mind to try and start and holding down any kind of online business .We won’t be the first and we wont be the last. Thank you so much for sharing this it has giving me some peace
Kelley, yes, it was a very difficult time and not the easiest thing to talk about because you feel really dumb and stupid. I’m sad to hear that you spent some of your inheritance on this process but it’s okay because it’s all about learning and getting better, but look at you now. You’re absolutely smashing it you’re doing really well. I’ve been watching your videos on TikTok and they really are good. You come across as just a normal Mother, wife that’s just trying to do the best for her family, and it’s paying off so well done and keep going > thanks, Atif
Atif, I had a similar experience, was made redundant, and then struggled for about 2 years to find work. This seriously impacted my mental health, and I felt not worthy. I discovered that a lot of my self-esteem was tied to my work and without a job, I really struggled. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I so appreciate it.
Eleanor, thank you for your comment. I’m very sorry that you went through a similar thing. It really does affect you in so many ways. It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough and you feel like you’ve let people around you down. To be honest now my mindset is different I see it as a learning opportunity. If that didn’t happen then I wouldn’t have been the person I am now. I’m glad you are now on this track to great things with Dean. I look forward to following your journey and I can’t wait to see all of your success.. thanks, Atif